Children: A Sacred Trust

           

I have recently made several observations that have sparked this article. I was visiting a church Sunday and the young pastor made a joke that we have all heard versions of many times. In his message, he stated that sometimes when his small children are acting up he wondered if he was happy God gave them to him. I know he did not mean it and it was simply an attempt at humor, and most everyone found it really funny, but it hit my wife and I differently. You see, we always dreamed of and longed for children. We had complications with our first son’s birth and the doctors said we would never have any more. We truly began to understand Psalm 127:3-5, which states that children are a reward from God.

Before I go any further, let me explain something. In the Old Covenant, children were a symbol of God’s favor and the lack of children was associated with a curse or in the case of Sara, Hannah, and Elizabeth, who were childless until late in life, a framework or punctuation for a child with a special life mission, i.e. Issaac, Samuel and John the Baptist. However, in the New Covenant, all who have chosen to repent of their sins and place their faith in the sinless life, substitutionary death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ have the favor of God.

Through the years, I struggled to find answers as I stood by my wife as she had 4 miscarriages and we wrestled with the overwhelming desire for more children. I wish I could say I always had strong faith for a miracle, but the truth is that my wife is the one who stood in steadfast faith for another child for 20 years. Finally, God gave us another child. Yes, there were complications, tests, and 39 days in the NICU. But, God defied the gloomy predictions of the medical experts and gave us a son who was perfectly formed in every way. Then, for his first birthday, God healed the holes in his heart, again astounding the doctors and glorifying Himself! I keep the letter that documents the healing in my Bible. When you have been through all that, you understand that children are truly a reward and a sacred trust from God! We thank God for our 2 sons and grandson every day!

I am inspired to write this because of a couple of other experiences. First, some in our government, Hillary Clinton to name one, are making speeches in which they are presenting the idea that children should not be considered to “belong” to their parents, but rather children “belong” to our community, society, nation, or government. Implying that the government knows what is best for our children and therefore should dictate how children should be raised. Presumably, this includes food preparation, discipline, education, moral training, clothing, and eventually every area of parenting. I assume this is a movement to replace parents by declaring them to be inadequate or inept.

Secondly, the breakdown of the family and the pursuit of “a better life” so often leads to children being left to fend for themselves. In many neighborhoods,  children come home to parentless homes and are on their own for hours. Fortunately, some neighborhoods have a "neighborhood Mom" who keeps an eye on them and often offers snacks to hungry children, administers first aid to cuts and bruises, breaks up fights, chaperones amorous teens, and much more.  However, too many children are simply free to do as they see fit until Mom or Dad returns from work. Many single parents work all day and then rush off to night school in an attempt to better their situation. This dedication is admirable. However, the multitudes of single parents living under this commitment are forced to devote all their time to work and study while little or nothing is left for their children during these important formative years. I applaud these single parents for their hard work in trying to make a trying situation better. However, it also makes me sad to realize that God’s plan for marriage and family, that has been so badly maligned by our modern culture, is being abandoned more every day. Our children are missing so much when parents are too busy for them!  God’s plan for family is the best!

No matter what your current situation, I want to reassure you that God has a wonderful plan to bless your family. If you are married, make every effort to protect and nurture your marriage. Don’t give up in the tough times that come to every couple. Married or single, remember that your children are a sacred gift from God. The pressures of life are constantly distracting us away from what really matters. Try to find a way to put your children in a place of great priority. They need you more than anything else! They need your love and reassurance. They need to have you as a good role model. They need for you to share the truth of Jesus Christ with them. They need you to set clear boundaries for them. They need to know that there are consequences for violating those boundaries. They need you to call out the good things God has placed in them. They need you to teach them basic life skills. They need you to protect them from the many dangers lurking in our world.

Children are a sacred trust from God. Don’t lose sight of these truths: children grow up fast, we only get one chance to prepare them for life as an adult, whoever influences them the most while they are young will shape their thinking and their personality that will greatly influence their adult life…shouldn’t that be you?, and memories of time well spent together are priceless and follow our children and grandchildren through life. God has a plan for you to propel your children forward by investing your time, love, and the wisdom of God from the Bible into them! 

A Powerful Family Legacy

Have you noticed that life has a way of swirling all around us sweeping us up into its flow and carrying us along from one urgent task to the next? Have you ever wondered why things happen the way they do? Most importantly, have you ever been filled with regret as you review your responses? Have you ever felt like things were hurtling forward and you were not engaging the way you wanted? Are you confused about your future? Are you concerned about the spiritual future of your children?

            I think all of us have experienced this to some degree. It is important as Christians and especially as parents to determine the priorities in our lives so we can order our lives in a way that glorifies God. So, at this point, most people begin to think of career priorities, possession procurement priorities, wealth building priorities, business priorities, retirement priorities, family time priorities, or a host of other priorities. However, I want to suggest that there is a priority pursuit that surpasses all of that. About 20 years ago, I was doing a Bible study on the life of Peter and of course spent a lot of time reading his 2 letters to the church, 1^st and 2^nd Peter. I discovered a set of priorities that will see us through life.

            In 2Peter chapter1, we are told that God desires to give us a rich welcome into Heaven someday. Entrance into Heaven is based on one’s repentance of sins and the receiving of forgiveness through the sacrificial death and resurrection of God’s only son Jesus. Peter is speaking to the church who have experienced this and he tells them that God wants to give them a rich welcome into Heaven. This implies that there are other types of welcomes into Heaven. What is a rich welcome  like? I’m not sure, but I have seen film footage of the welcome the soldiers returning from WW2 received…a rich welcome! So, maybe it would be similar to that, but only on a “Heavenly scale”. No matter what it would be, it is better than a plain welcome. Don’t get me wrong, any welcome into Heaven is fantastic, but if God wants to offer me a rich welcome, I believe I would like to go for it! What about you? I would also like to help my children receive a rich welcome into Heaven!

            Peter, knowing that some would instantly respond that they could not make it, assures us that God has given us everything we need for life and Godliness through Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and the promises of God’s Word. He then goes on to assure us that God wants us to participate in the Divine nature. After all, when we repent of our sinfulness and place our faith in the work of Jesus we are adopted into God’s family as sons and daughters who are left on the Earth to be a light in the darkness. Discipleship is all about learning to no longer live as children of darkness and learning to live as children of Light(Ephesians 4:17- 5:21).

            Then, Peter lays it out for us. This is how you receive a rich welcome into Heaven. By the way, he is also showing us how we set aside the nature of the flesh and grow in the nature of God.                      He tells us to make every effort to add qualities to our faith. We are to add moral excellence, knowledge of spiritual things, self control, perseverance/patience, Godliness, brotherly kindness, and love. Notice that these are character qualities not deeds of service. Service grows out of these qualities, but service is no substitute for these qualities.

How do we make every effort to add these? I believe the first is make growth in these qualities a part of our daily prayer life asking the Holy Spirit to help us. It is helpful to memorize this passage. Then, I believe we should look for opportunities to express these as we go through our day. I believe God will do great things in and through us as we make this effort!

Most of all, I want to encourage you to make these qualities the cornerstone of conduct in your home. We need to explain these things to our children. We need to role model these before our children. We need to incorporate these values into our discipline and correction of our children. We should cheer and applaud the growth of these qualities as much as we would a good report card or an athletic achievement. After all, isn’t this what really matters?!

Spend some time reading the first chapter of 2^nd Peter(I have only brushed the highlights here). Spend some time asking the Holy Spirit to help you grasp it. Choose to live it. Make your mind up to go for it! Determine to impart this spiritual truth into your children. Make these qualities the hallmark of the culture in your family! This is truly a worthy goal that will bless your family for generations and into eternity! Imagine the impact this could have on the future of your family!

            

Preparing Children for Life

            Some things in life seem so normal that we often don’t take time to acknowledge and appreciate them. For me, it was basic life skills training imparted to me by my parents and grandparents. I was raised in a family business so my family made it a normal part of life to impart as many skills as possible as well as qualities like a strong work ethic, responsibility, and dependability. Every day was filled with the instruction about how to do things as well as how a small business operates and functions. I worked alongside my parents every day observing how things were done and helping. By the time I was a senior in high school, I was well prepared to move into the work force or start a business. This preparation has served me well through my life thus far.

            My wife and I planted a church in Sumter, S.C. in 1994 and served there until 2006. During that time, we established a ministry training program for college -aged young people. It was during this 8 year span that I really began to appreciate the gift my family had given me. I was so amazed to see such a high percentage of young people who had no clue about basic life skills like cooking, washing clothes, house cleaning, cutting the grass, changing light bulbs and A/C filters, changing a flat tire, changing the oil in a car, reading a tape measure, and using basic tools like pliers and screwdrivers. The thing that really amazed me was that these young people came from parents who were very competent. We made it a point to include this training in our program to help them in their life journey.

            This experience, of course, made us wonder how this could happen. We found that many parents felt that they were doing their children a service by not making them work around the home. Somehow, they did not connect the dots to realize that their children would struggle to succeed in life without this crucial instruction from their parents and grandparents. We found that some parents simply were busy making a living and running the household and did not think about the importance of teaching their children these practical skills. Some parents simply did not want to exert the patience required for this kind of instruction. They would say something like, “ It’s just easier to do it myself, rather than trying to get him/her to do it.” Then, there were a few who did not pass on this valuable information to their children because they wanted their children to remain dependent on them. The thought here is that “if they need me, they won’t leave me”.

            The truth is that God intends that parents pass as much knowledge on to their children as possible to make sure that children are firmly rooted in life so they can fulfill God’s plan for their lives. In Deuteronomy, fathers are instructed to pass their knowledge of God and life on to their children. Failure to prepare our children for life creates angry, confused young adults who feel lost in the world.

            I want to encourage you to prayerfully consider how you can begin passing your knowledge and skills on to your children. Household chores are a great start. Another great tool is to volunteer for projects through your local church or a community charity and have your children work alongside you instructing and encouraging them as you go. The investment you make in preparing your children for life will create benefits for your family that will last for generations!