Harmony is that quality best understood in musical terms.
We have all experienced the uneasy feeling that comes when a group of singers
get together and their voices simply don’t blend well together or a band starts
playing and some are out of tune or off on their timing. A lack of harmony
transforms one of the most wonderful experiences of humanity, music, into an
unpleasant experience that generates an intense inner cry of…. “ just make it stop!
Harmony can make good musicians great. A lack of harmony can make great
musicians good!
The
same is true in family relationships. Harmony can make life wonderful. A lack
of harmony can make life unbearable. A lack of harmony makes children fantasize
about leaving. A lack of harmony makes husbands and wives prone to thoughts of
escaping the marriage to find peace. Proverbs 25:24 and 27:15-16, state that a
quarrelsome wife is like a constant annoying situation like a dripping of water
that makes one feel that it would be better to live on a corner of the roof
(under a bridge?) than to be forced to live in that environment. While the scripture
refers to a quarrelsome wife, I believe this would also apply to a quarrelsome
husband. It is important to work to find harmony for the family. This article
is meant to be a quick snapshot of ideas and suggestions, not an exhaustive
study on the topic. I hope these ideas will be helpful.
1.
Work on yourself.
Accept the fact that you cannot change anyone else’s behavior. However, as you
change yourself, it will have a positive influence on those around you.
2.
Stop being
critical. Criticism pushes others down and creates a negative effect in the
home. Instead, encourage your mate and children to aspire for better things. Let
them know you believe they can do it.
3.
Be a helper
rather than a fault-finder. No one like to have someone constantly pointing out
the problems and flaws who is not willing to roll up their sleeves and offer
solutions, ideas, and help.
4.
Be respectful. Be
careful in how you speak to your mate and children. Remember, they are of great
value to God and are filled with His gifts, talents, and destiny. Speak to them
with love and appreciation. The Bible commands us to speak the truth in love.
Sometimes we need to say difficult things to those we love, but we need to be
careful how we say it. By the way, name calling and cursing are never
respectful. Predicting failure and disappointing performance is not respectful
either. Those we love should know that we are always expecting great things
from them.
5.
Work towards
getting your anger under control before speaking to your mate and children.
Remember, the anger of man does not accomplish the righteousness of God.
6.
Remember the
Golden rule. Treat others the way you would want to be treated.
7.
Choose to put
aside selfishness. Choose to lift up your mate and children. Choose to do what
is best for your mate and children rather than what is convenient and
comfortable for you. Start putting that desire to serve self at the expense of
others to death.
8.
Remember, one of
the greatest gifts you can give your family is your best contribution to harmony
and peace in the home.
9.
Choose to use
your words to lift up and encourage your mate and children. They will long for
time with you!