New Year's Resolutions Ideas

Well, this is the time of the year that we traditionally evaluate ourselves and decide, or decide again, to make improvements. Most people will focus on issues like losing weight, getting in shape, quitting smoking, or making more money.
While these can be excellent issues that need to be dealt with, I would like to encourage you to work on strengthening your marriage. There is nothing more important than strengthening your family. Our culture desperately needs to see successful marriages!
This can take on many important aspects like spending more time together, learning to communicate better, and prioritizing date nights, but I would like to suggest that a great idea is to resolve to strengthen your marriage by becoming a stronger disciple of Christ. I am not talking necessarily about more church attendance or volunteer involvement. While these are a wonderful and vital part of the process of growing as a disciple of Christ, I am talking about asking God to help you grow in Christlike qualities like:

• Love - simply putting others first and lifting them up..especially your mate 
• Joy - determine to have a joyful heart that fills your home...get rid of moodiness, angry outbursts, and a sour attitude...be a joy to be around
• Peace - decide to be at peace no matter what happens knowing that God is watching over you
• Goodness - enjoy, appreciate, do, and reward those things that are good
• Patience - pursue a patient, calm attitude...no more uptight demeanor 
• Kindness - life is full of opportunities to be kind - act on them especially with your mate 
• Faithfulness - determine to be reliable and loyal
• Self Control - stop granting yourself permission to behave and speak in ways that are hurtful to others, especially your mate

You probably recognize this as the list of fruit of the Spirit from Galatians 5:22. This year, determine to improve your life by improving your marriage by cooperating with God's plan to cultivate more of the fruit of the Spirit into you.  

The best way to improve your marriage is to become a better marriage partner.  

The best way to become a better marriage partner is to develop more of these Heavenly qualities.  

Here are a couple of helpful hints:

1. Tell God that you want to do this and ask for His help.
2. Notice how you are in these areas currently.
3. Write down the list of desired qualities and make it a part of your daily prayer time.
4. Make a point of noticing opportunities to replace old ways with these new, better responses.
5. You will be amazed what God will do in you this year if you stick to it.
6. Thank God for growth that you notice. 

Start the New Year off right by committing to strengthen your marriage!  

Order your copy of I Still Do, A guide for the marriage journey.  

This 14 week daily devotional will help you focus on improving your marriage!

Click on the sidebar to order yours today! 

  

Also, "Like" us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/I Still Do. 

Tell a friend about the Marriage Coach!

Have you become a puppet?

Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self control. Proverbs 25: 28  

In our modern culture, we have perfected the concept of blame shifting. We excuse our bad behavior by claiming that someone else did or said something that forced us to behave or speak in a manner that is harmful, illegal, or simply embarrassing. Even in our court system verdicts are often affected by the idea that the actions or words of the victim somehow forced the defendant to respond as they did.

We entertain ourselves with so called reality shows that are mostly built on the yelling, screaming, angry outbursts, vengeful plots, malicious gossip, and other bad behavior of the participants.  It seems that the person acting badly always hides behind the argument that they simply “had to” respond that way because of the words or actions of the others involved. Our culture is saturated with this rationale. There are quite a few problems, however with this line of thinking.  This argument did not help Adam and Eve as they tried to justify their failures by shifting the blame. Adam tried to blame Eve and indirectly tried to blame God, but in the end he was responsible for his actions. Eve tried to shift the blame to the serpent, but in the end she was responsible for her actions. We, too, are ultimately responsible for our actions and choices.

In marriage, couples try to blame their mate for their own bad behavior or hurtful words. But the truth is that we are each in control of our choices regardless of what anyone else does. If someone chooses to commit adultery, inflict physical harm on their mate, or say horribly hurtful things to their mate it is no one else’s fault and there is no justification for such things. When a retaliatory pattern settles into a marriage hurtful things are sure to follow. The key is to choose what kind of marriage partner you will be regardless of what your mate chooses. The fact is that we are not puppets. Many think it would be fun to have a free pass in life for all our bad behavior, but there are no free passes. There are rewards and consequences for all of our words and actions.

The next time someone acts poorly toward you, remember that is time for you to put your choices to the test, if you respond like them, then you are becoming a little more like them. We need to think about the kind of person we want to be and choose our response carefully. It’s time to stop handing control over to someone else and saying to them, “Here, you control me for a few minutes. Go ahead, make me act and speak in a way that is completely embarrassing and possibly harmful!” In order to grow as a person, a Christian disciple, and a marriage partner and parent, we have to exercise self control. Without self control, our life is like an unprotected city vulnerable to all kinds of harm. The puppet in this video is entertaining, but remember, we are not puppets.