Work schedules and demands, household chores, and parenting responsibilities tend to overwhelm a relationship and force it into a state of being centered around just getting the "stuff" done and crashing out at the end of the day. This is like dehydration to a relationship. To have a great marriage, it is crucial to regularly plan to infuse a dose of romance to keep the relationship healthy and refreshed.
Adding romance can be tricky business because this is an elusive term that means different things to different people. I think the best way to approach it is to think of romance in its simplest terms. Romance is not about jewelry, fancy restaurants, soft music, sunsets, expensive vacations, lavish gifts, touching poetry, flowers, or stadium sized displays of commitment and love. Any of those things can be a part of the romantic expression within a relationship, but the real essence of romance is simply taking the time to go out of your way to do something special that would be meaningful to your mate ..... putting your mate first.
Valentine's Day is on the way. This is the holiday of romance, but sadly, for too many, it will turn into a generic card from a rack and a box of candy bought at the last minute, some left over flowers picked up on the way home from work, or a night out that turns out to be just another boring meal in the same old restaurant...just like last weekend. For too many, it is simply a hassle.
Determine to make it different this year! Over the next couple of weeks, I will be trying to help you come up with some ideas that will make your mate explode with joy and reignite that special something between you two love birds! By the way, these will fit any budget!
Step one is to develop a plan of action:
- Carefully begin to listen to your mate to find out what he/she would really like from you (it must be something you enjoy together not a day golfing with the guys or a day of shopping with the girls). Ask subtle questions!
- Ask your mate questions to help you understand what his/her idea of romance is all about.
- Be careful not to tip your hand, but ask questions that let you know what kind of date he/she would like.
- Think about the things you have done that have overwhelmed your mate in the past...what elements can you incorporate, even if in an altered state?
- What would really put a smile on your mate's face? Think! Go to some extra effort! Your mate is worth it!
- Be careful not to blow the surprise, the element of surprise adds to the experience.
- Yes, wives can also romance their husbands!
- Got a plan?
