The husband's challenge!

In Ephesians 5:25-33, there is an example given to guide husbands as they interact with their wives. The example is that of Jesus laying down His life in order to do what is best for His Bride, the church. The term "church" was not intended to refer to buildings or religious organizations. The term church here refers to every person who becomes a born again follower of Jesus. This is personal for every follower of Jesus. He is involved in your life and has a plan to accomplish what is best for you from an eternal viewpoint. He has paid a high price to free us from bondage to the kingdom of darkness and now He goes to a lot of trouble to walk with us and care for us and bring us to higher, better places in our relationship with Him and our service for Him. He watches over us and takes care of us. What a great feeling!

Likewise, husbands are to relate to their wives in the same way. Husbands should be loving, caring, and understanding as we relate to our wives. Husbands are not to dominate and control their wives, but instead we should love and cherish them with honor and dignity. We should lift them up.

I know some of you are already thinking of all the things you would like to do for your wife but can't due to some uncontrollable obstacle. Stop worrying about that and focus your thoughts on what you are able to do today and plan to do it.

Some are thinking of buying some extravagant gift. Do not get trapped into thinking that wives are only focused on gifts and material things. What she really wants is your heart. If you can't afford to buy things, don't get depressed about it. Focus on giving her love, affection, and kindness. Things come and go. Focus on what really matters...love.

At this point some might be tempted to respond,"but what about me?", but in God's plan, caring for the woman will bring great rewards. We are rewarded by the reciprocated love of the wife and by the blessing of God on our families. This is an opportunity to impact our children and grandchildren with a wonderful example that will fill our family line with blessing!

Like great men through the ages, we can follow Jesus and make a difference that will have a positive impact for generations!

                  

   For more ideas to help boost your marriage, order our book, I Still Do.

Fan the flame without breaking the bank!

As I said last week, it is critical for married couples to put effort into keeping the flame of love and connection burning brightly. Without this effort, married life becomes dull, boring, monotonous, and difficult. For many, the lack of this attention to the flame brings a sense of loneliness. 

So I hope by now you have a plan for a special get away to focus on escaping the daily grind for a couple of days and focus on your mate during that time.

If you are thinking that this is out of reach due to a lack of money, let me offer a few ideas to help you. First of all, I'm sure you have seen the ads, yes they are annoying but try to get past that, for Priceline.com. In the past 6 months, we have used Priceline several times to save money and to be able to stay in much nicer places than we could have ever afforded. In our experience, we have been able to stay in 4 star super nice hotels for just $50.00 per night plus tax. These were incredible places. Ordinarily, I would have never even called these places because the rooms normally rent for over $175 per night. But, thanks to Priceline, we were able to afford it.  

Why plan a special getaway in a Motel 6 when you could stay at the Hilton for the same price or maybe less?! Believe me it makes a difference!

The key to Priceline is to select the "name your own price" option, then select 3 star or better and the area you want , then put in your price and wait to see if they accept it. If your offer is refused, then simply raise it a few dollars and try again. Also, it seems to work better if you don't try to schedule your room too far in advance. I suppose they are more willing to accept your offer if they are looking at empty rooms for your requested nights and it seems unlikely that they will get them rented. The down side is that once you secure the room, there is no refund. This is not a problem if you plan well.  

Obviously, you could send the kids to the grandparents and plan a special time at home for free, but somehow the daily grind and undone chores and home maintenance issues have a way of distracting you away from your mate.

Remember, the key to this is to set aside time to remember all the good and loveable qualities about the person you married. This is a time to focus on lifting up and enjoying your mate. Put some thought and effort into it. Don't simply plan to go out to eat and sit in silence. Don't default to simply watching television. This is not a time to have endless discussions about problems and challenges. This is a time for long walks, affection, hand holding, eye contact, silly jokes, hugs and kisses, uplifting words, love notes, expressions of thanks, and other good things. Make sure to forgive any grudges you have been holding before you leave home!

Every couple needs to do some form of this at least a couple of times every year.

Begin to anticipate a renewed connection today!  

                  

   For more ideas to help boost your marriage, order our book, I Still Do.

Boost the connection in your marriage

One of the struggles of marriage is to keep that deep sense of connection and romance between husband and wife.  

Many couples fail to see the importance of fighting for this and eventually end up in serious trouble. Most of the time, they say things like,"We just grew apart", "We fell out of love", or We just weren't happy any more". Don't let that happen to you! If it is already beginning to creep in...take action as soon as possible!

The problem is that over the long haul, love gets squeezed by work, bills, childcare responsibilities, hurts and disappointments in life, illness, loss of loved ones, and a host of other real life events that drain the fun and pleasure out of a relationship if you are not careful.   

Long term marriages need regular doses of meaningful conversation, enjoyable bonding experiences, laughter, affection, and down times from the daily grind. However, these ingredients must be deliberately planned and added to your schedule...especially when life is tough.

Start today. Begin to plan a special getaway with your husband/wife. Here are some tips to get you started:

• Pick a date within the next month and commit to it. 
• Plan to go somewhere you have never been or somewhere you enjoy, but haven't been in a while. Keep it simple enough to pull off in the next few weeks. 
• Set a budget that is comfortable. I will have some budget helping ideas next week. 
• Plan on leaving the children with someone you really trust. Refuse to feel guilty, your children need their parents to keep the flame of love burning.  
•  Plan on having fun. Maybe you could try something adventurous like white water rafting, gem hunting, hiking, or something else that is out of your "boring routine". 
• Plan on doing something special for your mate.
• Plan to be extra courteous, extra affectionate, and extra pleasant to be around.

Begin to anticipate a renewed connection today! 

                  

   For more ideas to help boost your marriage, order our book, I Still Do.

Supermom

For several decades the term "Supermom" has been used to refer to the enormous weight of responsibility placed on Mom. This term generally refers to her ability to balance the many tasks that raising a family involves. The term actually was intended to call attention to the fact that Mom is a vital task doer in the family and should be appreciated and I completely agree.

However, "Supermom" should also be used to  recognize and appreciate the God given qualities that Mom brings to the family. God has blessed Moms with a powerful gift to shape and impact her children for life. Winston Churchill once said that he was the man he was because of the influence of his Mom. Abraham Lincoln credits his step mother with instilling in him a desire to learn. It's true that the hand that rocks the cradle truly does rule the world.

Mom's constant love, commitment, support, and encouragement plant a sense of value and worth deep in the heart of a child. This deposit carries that child through life. Mom's love creates a sense of well being and belonging that makes a child feel whole and valuable. The absence of that sends a person on a lifelong quest to fill that void and fills them with doubts about their worth as a person. The lack of Mom's love makes it difficult to give and receive love. Who could assign a value to the hugs, kisses, and lessons taught and role modeled by Mom? Priceless!  

Mom is so much more than a multi- tasker. Mom is a person gifted by God with a powerful gift of love to pour into her children to help them enter life whole and ready to face the obstacles they will face. Moms, don't get so caught up in all the tasks and responsibilities that you forget to do the most important thing...nurture your children. God has given you a special gift to give them.

        Happy Mother's Day!     

             

   For more ideas to help boost your marriage, order our book, I Still Do.