Cancelled

Cancelled is a word that can either be negative as in the case of something you were eagerly anticipating being cancelled due to some problem, or it can be very positive as in the case of being released from some burdensome obligation like a traffic ticket.

My parents own a country store. When I was growing up, many of the locals carried a small charge account. They would come in, purchase items, and we would write down the total owed on the tally sheet. Every week or two, they would come in and make payments and we would strike off the amounts paid. This part of the bill was cancelled ... paid ... finished...completed...never mentioned again...you get the idea. This is a picture of forgiveness.

Grudge holding, list keeping, and pay backs are like a cancer that eats away at marriage. No marriage can withstand the effects of these practices. In order to truly experience the blessing God intended the marriage relationship to bring, we have to practice the art of forgiveness. By the way,we get better at it the more we do it. 

If you take a few minutes to read Matthew 18:23-35, you will discover that forgiveness involves several key elements: 

• My mate has said or done something that is hurtful to me.
• I realize that I have hurt my mate also.
• We are both in need of forgiveness from each other.
• Holding grudges undermines our ability to be close.
• In order to have a life of love together, we must forgive each other and learn to be careful not to hurt each other in the future.
• My relationship with God is negatively affected by my refusal to forgive others...especially my mate.
• Forgiveness does not minimize the hurt...it maximizes my expression of love.

The question is not whether your mate deserves forgiveness. God made a way of forgiveness for all of us regardless of our worthiness. That is the pattern for forgiveness.
Give the gift of forgiveness to insure a long life of love!

 

Exercise for this week:

Are you holding a grudge against your mate?
What offense are you refusing to forgive?
How is the grudge effecting your relationship?
Is that what you want?
Choose to forgive and pull your marriage out of the nosedive.
Communication is the key to moving forward after forgiveness is given.  

For more ideas to help boost your marriage, order our book, I Still Do.