Facebook Fire!

 I recently read that 66% of lawyers cite Facebook as their primary source of evidence in adultery cases. In England, last year 20% of divorce petitions involved "Facebook Flings". Currently, one out of five American divorces now involve Facebook. I suppose many would jump to suggest that we close down Facebook accounts, sue Facebook, or make Facebook illegal, but Facebook is not the problem. Foolish human decision-making is the problem, as usual.

Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched? So is the one who sleeps with another man's wife, no one who touches her will go unpunished...But a man who commits adultery lacks judgement, whoever does so destroys himself. The NIV Bible, Proverbs 6:27-29,32.

Many men and women believe that they can engage in friendship building, emotional connections, and so called innocent flirting with someone of the opposite sex and suffer no ill effects. The truth is that this is playing with fire and someone will be burnt because the most powerful component of human sexuality is deep emotional bonding. It is unreasonable to think that one could build these bonds with someone other than their mate and keep their relationship with their mate in tact. If you play with fire...you will be burnt!

If you destroy your marriage, you will create widespread devastation to everyone you love including yourself. Study the divorce checklist in our book to learn more about this.

This has always been an issue for some, but now many who would never engage in this type of behavior in person are slipping into it through the convenience and privacy of Facebook and other social media. Facebook opens opportunities that seem safe because there is no face to face interaction. The truth is that someone can turn and even steal your heart without any face to face contact, in fact it is even easier this way because there are no negatives to overcome. The other person can weave the perfect fantasy to lure you away without any of the reality checks that face to face interactions would bring. Add to that the allure of the secret relationship and the danger level has just increased exponentially. What seems innocent and safe is really the most dangerous of all. This fantasy relationship can quickly turn into an obsession and before long a rendezvous is planned. This is the point where all you love will be destroyed. The fire is raging!

Here are some ideas to help keep you safe on Facebook:

1. Never write anything negative about your mate.
2. Never share your deepest struggles, frustrations,and dreams on your wall for all to read.
3. Do not give out sensitive details about your life for all to read.
4. Never express the need for help of any sort on your wall for all to read.
5. Remember, there are those who are predators looking for someone to conquer, if you give them the info to steal your heart, they will use it to destroy you. Those with evil intents are the first to volunteer to "help". 
6. Be careful about the pictures you post and how they portray your lifestyle and overall happiness.
7. Never post pictures that could be used to locate your home and learn the details of the inside.
8. Never carry on conversations through messaging with someone of the opposite sex unless your mate knows about it and approves.
9. Allow your mate to read any messages exchanged with someone of the opposite sex.
10. Never respond to any flirtation ... ignore it completely.
11.  Never engage in flattery with someone of the opposite sex.
12. Never send someone of the opposite sex pictures of yourself...any kind of pictures! 
13. Be careful how you get emotionally involved with someone of the opposite sex who is needy and asking for your encouragement and help...refer them to a friend who is the same sex as the person for help.
14. Guard your heart. Devote your energy to deepening your bond with your mate!
15. If you would feel uncomfortable with the conversation/budding relationship in person, shut it down on Facebook!

It is easier to put out a small campfire than a raging wildfire!   

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