Promoting Harmony in the Home

            Harmony is that quality best understood in musical terms. We have all experienced the uneasy feeling that comes when a group of singers get together and their voices simply don’t blend well together or a band starts playing and some are out of tune or off on their timing. A lack of harmony transforms one of the most wonderful experiences of humanity, music, into an unpleasant experience that generates an intense inner cry of…. “ just make it stop! Harmony can make good musicians great. A lack of harmony can make great musicians good!        

The same is true in family relationships. Harmony can make life wonderful. A lack of harmony can make life unbearable. A lack of harmony makes children fantasize about leaving. A lack of harmony makes husbands and wives prone to thoughts of escaping the marriage to find peace. Proverbs 25:24 and 27:15-16, state that a quarrelsome wife is like a constant annoying situation like a dripping of water that makes one feel that it would be better to live on a corner of the roof (under a bridge?) than to be forced to live in that environment. While the scripture refers to a quarrelsome wife, I believe this would also apply to a quarrelsome husband. It is important to work to find harmony for the family. This article is meant to be a quick snapshot of ideas and suggestions, not an exhaustive study on the topic. I hope these ideas will be helpful.

1.    Work on yourself. Accept the fact that you cannot change anyone else’s behavior. However, as you change yourself, it will have a positive influence on those around you.

2.    Stop being critical. Criticism pushes others down and creates a negative effect in the home. Instead, encourage your mate and children to aspire for better things. Let them know you believe they can do it.

3.    Be a helper rather than a fault-finder. No one like to have someone constantly pointing out the problems and flaws who is not willing to roll up their sleeves and offer solutions, ideas, and help.

4.    Be respectful. Be careful in how you speak to your mate and children. Remember, they are of great value to God and are filled with His gifts, talents, and destiny. Speak to them with love and appreciation. The Bible commands us to speak the truth in love. Sometimes we need to say difficult things to those we love, but we need to be careful how we say it. By the way, name calling and cursing are never respectful. Predicting failure and disappointing performance is not respectful either. Those we love should know that we are always expecting great things from them.

5.    Work towards getting your anger under control before speaking to your mate and children. Remember, the anger of man does not accomplish the righteousness of God.

6.    Remember the Golden rule. Treat others the way you would want to be treated.

7.    Choose to put aside selfishness. Choose to lift up your mate and children. Choose to do what is best for your mate and children rather than what is convenient and comfortable for you. Start putting that desire to serve self at the expense of others to death.

8.    Remember, one of the greatest gifts you can give your family is your best contribution to harmony and peace in the home.

9.    Choose to use your words to lift up and encourage your mate and children. They will long for time with you!