Have you become a puppet?

Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self control. Proverbs 25: 28  

In our modern culture, we have perfected the concept of blame shifting. We excuse our bad behavior by claiming that someone else did or said something that forced us to behave or speak in a manner that is harmful, illegal, or simply embarrassing. Even in our court system verdicts are often affected by the idea that the actions or words of the victim somehow forced the defendant to respond as they did.

We entertain ourselves with so called reality shows that are mostly built on the yelling, screaming, angry outbursts, vengeful plots, malicious gossip, and other bad behavior of the participants.  It seems that the person acting badly always hides behind the argument that they simply “had to” respond that way because of the words or actions of the others involved. Our culture is saturated with this rationale. There are quite a few problems, however with this line of thinking.  This argument did not help Adam and Eve as they tried to justify their failures by shifting the blame. Adam tried to blame Eve and indirectly tried to blame God, but in the end he was responsible for his actions. Eve tried to shift the blame to the serpent, but in the end she was responsible for her actions. We, too, are ultimately responsible for our actions and choices.

In marriage, couples try to blame their mate for their own bad behavior or hurtful words. But the truth is that we are each in control of our choices regardless of what anyone else does. If someone chooses to commit adultery, inflict physical harm on their mate, or say horribly hurtful things to their mate it is no one else’s fault and there is no justification for such things. When a retaliatory pattern settles into a marriage hurtful things are sure to follow. The key is to choose what kind of marriage partner you will be regardless of what your mate chooses. The fact is that we are not puppets. Many think it would be fun to have a free pass in life for all our bad behavior, but there are no free passes. There are rewards and consequences for all of our words and actions.

The next time someone acts poorly toward you, remember that is time for you to put your choices to the test, if you respond like them, then you are becoming a little more like them. We need to think about the kind of person we want to be and choose our response carefully. It’s time to stop handing control over to someone else and saying to them, “Here, you control me for a few minutes. Go ahead, make me act and speak in a way that is completely embarrassing and possibly harmful!” In order to grow as a person, a Christian disciple, and a marriage partner and parent, we have to exercise self control. Without self control, our life is like an unprotected city vulnerable to all kinds of harm. The puppet in this video is entertaining, but remember, we are not puppets.