The great challenge of husbands and fathers

Genesis Chapter 3 contains one of the saddest stories of the all time. Adam and Eve, the first man and woman created by God, were living in a perfect world, in perfect relationship, in a perfect environment, and enjoying face to face friendship with Almighty God. Truly, it was a real paradise. God had given Adam one simple command to obey, “Do not eat the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for on the day you eat of it, you will surely die.” God had appointed Adam as the caretaker of this paradise, even allowing Adam to name all the creatures. This opportunity to name everything demonstrated that God had given Adam delegated authority over creation. This authority also brought responsibility. Over time, God saw that Adam was lonely and needed a mate. God carefully crafted a mate for Adam who was perfect for him. She also bore the image of God, but had many different qualities than Adam. God’s plan was that they would live together in a harmonious relationship allowing their differences to benefit each other and the family.

            Because he was created first and because he had been given the command directly from God concerning the one fruit to never eat and because he had been called to name all living creatures including Eve, Adam was expected to be the leader. This did not make him the boss, but a much better role…a loving leader. His primary responsibility was to lead his wife and children in fellowship and obedience to God. In short, he was to teach them to care for God’s creation and make sure they never ate from the forbidden tree. It seems like a simple task, but as we all know something went terribly wrong.

            One day, Satan engaged Eve in a conversation where he questioned God’s command, God’s warning of death upon disobedience, and God’s very character and motivation for the command. The sad thing is that after she took a bite, we read that she gave some to Adam who was standing right there. He stood by passively as she was swept away by the great deceiver. Of course, paradise was ruined. Sin and death began to wreak havoc on all of humanity and creation. Eventually their son Cain murdered their son Abel. The weakness of Adam became the downfall of men the world over. Things would have been so different if only Adam would have lovingly put his arm around Eve and led her away from the deceiver. If only, he would have stepped up to remind Eve of God’s trustworthiness and faithfulness as he led her away from the tree evil would have been kept at bay. But, he found it easier to take the road of passivity.

            I have found that all men, especially the one I look at in the mirror every morning face this challenge on a daily basis. Our God-given responsibility is to lovingly lead our family into the blessing that comes from obedience to God’s Word. It is, however much easier to be passive. It is demanding to always be on the lookout for the deceiver who might be trying to lead our wives and children into sin that will bring destruction to our families. Unfortunately, we tend to take the ill fated path of Adam.

            The first challenge we face is the challenge to live in obedience to God’s Word and His values ourselves. The next challenge is to recognize how the deceiver might be seeking to gain entrance into our family. This requires paying attention to our wives and children. Do you know what is being taught at school? Do you know who your children are friends with? Do you know the video games your children watch? Have you read the words of their favorite songs? Have you asked them about their relationship with God? Being a watchman for our families requires being engaged with them in a real way. As men, we tend to assume all is well as we distract ourselves with other things. It is important to become engaged with our family. We need to explain God’s ways about how we should conduct ourselves in this world to our children. We need to especially explain God’s plan for marriage, sexuality, friendships, life purpose, and every other aspect of life to our children. We need to recognize when our family members are drifting dangerously close to trouble and lovingly lead them away to safety and carefully explain the benefit of obeying God’s will to them. We need to teach them how to handle anger without sin. We need to teach them how to express honor and respect toward others. We need to lead them in never participating in gossip or bullying. We need to instill in our children a solid work ethic. We need to teach them about the nature, character, and faithfulness of God from His word and also by sharing our experience with God to them. We need to teach them to pray and trust God.

            It is crucial that men lovingly lead their wives and children in the things of God to keep the ravaging effects of sin away. How many family heartbreaks would have been prevented if only the men had taken a stand and lovingly led their family away from sin? How many divorces could have been avoided? How many children could have been steered away from violence, drugs, alcohol abuse, sexual looseness, emotional bullying, the effects of out of control friends, suicide, and a host of other destructive behaviors? Of course, the past can’t be changed. Every man has felt the sting of pain in his family and suspected that his passivity may have opened the door for this lion to come roaring in. I am challenging men everywhere to join me in the quest to cast off passivity and lovingly lead our families into the safety of obedience to God! Start today! Ask God to help you and guide you. Begin to engage your children in meaningful conversation. Work together with your wife to lead your family into the fullness of life that Jesus promised! Cast off passivity!