The greatest gift of love.

We know that love inspires us to give gifts as an expression of our love, so we should choose our gifts carefully. What is the greatest gift of love? Many would say diamonds, jewelry, extravagant trips, chocolate, flowers, or maybe some sacrificial deed. While all of these are certainly valid ways to express love, the greatest gift of love is focused attention. This is a simple concept, yet it seems to be difficult for many of us to practice it consistently so let's take a look at its components to gain some help in learning to give this gift.
Focused attention requires time. Many husbands get caught up in providing material and financial things as an act of love, which it is, but it is no substitute for time spent with our wife and children. Material things excite for a little while, but it is through the sharing of time that we really connect with those we love.
Parents often believe that involving their children in lots of activities is a great gift of love, but frequently this scatters the family in so many different directions that they hardly ever have time for each other. Given a choice, we would rather have time with someone we love instead of some object given to us by them. Focused attention requires spending time together.
Focused attention as a gift of love requires more than just time spent in the same proximity. It requires really connecting with eye contact, conversation that is intended to interest, engage and uplift the other, and real listening. My wife and I recently went out to eat and noticed a young married couple at a table across the restaurant who were obviously out on a date, yet each of them spent most of their time texting other people and ignoring each other. After a while, they finished eating and left...still staring at their phones. This is not focused attention even though they were seated at the same table.
Focused attention requires turning off cell phones, televisions, and laptops in order to connect with the one you love. Setting aside all others for a period of time to really engage our mate (this applies to children also) expresses love and demonstrates that we value our mate above all other people and interests.
This week, make it a point to generously overwhelm your mate with some focused attention.
You will probably need to plan a date or a time and work to make it happen in spite of all the things that will be working to crowd this off your schedule. Remember, nothing is more important than your mate and children and what they really want is YOU!


By the way, I am teaching our marriage class at Faith Assembly in Summerville for the next 7 weeks on Sunday evenings 6-7:30PM. I hope you can join us! 

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