Children: A Sacred Trust

           

I have recently made several observations that have sparked this article. I was visiting a church Sunday and the young pastor made a joke that we have all heard versions of many times. In his message, he stated that sometimes when his small children are acting up he wondered if he was happy God gave them to him. I know he did not mean it and it was simply an attempt at humor, and most everyone found it really funny, but it hit my wife and I differently. You see, we always dreamed of and longed for children. We had complications with our first son’s birth and the doctors said we would never have any more. We truly began to understand Psalm 127:3-5, which states that children are a reward from God.

Before I go any further, let me explain something. In the Old Covenant, children were a symbol of God’s favor and the lack of children was associated with a curse or in the case of Sara, Hannah, and Elizabeth, who were childless until late in life, a framework or punctuation for a child with a special life mission, i.e. Issaac, Samuel and John the Baptist. However, in the New Covenant, all who have chosen to repent of their sins and place their faith in the sinless life, substitutionary death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ have the favor of God.

Through the years, I struggled to find answers as I stood by my wife as she had 4 miscarriages and we wrestled with the overwhelming desire for more children. I wish I could say I always had strong faith for a miracle, but the truth is that my wife is the one who stood in steadfast faith for another child for 20 years. Finally, God gave us another child. Yes, there were complications, tests, and 39 days in the NICU. But, God defied the gloomy predictions of the medical experts and gave us a son who was perfectly formed in every way. Then, for his first birthday, God healed the holes in his heart, again astounding the doctors and glorifying Himself! I keep the letter that documents the healing in my Bible. When you have been through all that, you understand that children are truly a reward and a sacred trust from God! We thank God for our 2 sons and grandson every day!

I am inspired to write this because of a couple of other experiences. First, some in our government, Hillary Clinton to name one, are making speeches in which they are presenting the idea that children should not be considered to “belong” to their parents, but rather children “belong” to our community, society, nation, or government. Implying that the government knows what is best for our children and therefore should dictate how children should be raised. Presumably, this includes food preparation, discipline, education, moral training, clothing, and eventually every area of parenting. I assume this is a movement to replace parents by declaring them to be inadequate or inept.

Secondly, the breakdown of the family and the pursuit of “a better life” so often leads to children being left to fend for themselves. In many neighborhoods,  children come home to parentless homes and are on their own for hours. Fortunately, some neighborhoods have a "neighborhood Mom" who keeps an eye on them and often offers snacks to hungry children, administers first aid to cuts and bruises, breaks up fights, chaperones amorous teens, and much more.  However, too many children are simply free to do as they see fit until Mom or Dad returns from work. Many single parents work all day and then rush off to night school in an attempt to better their situation. This dedication is admirable. However, the multitudes of single parents living under this commitment are forced to devote all their time to work and study while little or nothing is left for their children during these important formative years. I applaud these single parents for their hard work in trying to make a trying situation better. However, it also makes me sad to realize that God’s plan for marriage and family, that has been so badly maligned by our modern culture, is being abandoned more every day. Our children are missing so much when parents are too busy for them!  God’s plan for family is the best!

No matter what your current situation, I want to reassure you that God has a wonderful plan to bless your family. If you are married, make every effort to protect and nurture your marriage. Don’t give up in the tough times that come to every couple. Married or single, remember that your children are a sacred gift from God. The pressures of life are constantly distracting us away from what really matters. Try to find a way to put your children in a place of great priority. They need you more than anything else! They need your love and reassurance. They need to have you as a good role model. They need for you to share the truth of Jesus Christ with them. They need you to set clear boundaries for them. They need to know that there are consequences for violating those boundaries. They need you to call out the good things God has placed in them. They need you to teach them basic life skills. They need you to protect them from the many dangers lurking in our world.

Children are a sacred trust from God. Don’t lose sight of these truths: children grow up fast, we only get one chance to prepare them for life as an adult, whoever influences them the most while they are young will shape their thinking and their personality that will greatly influence their adult life…shouldn’t that be you?, and memories of time well spent together are priceless and follow our children and grandchildren through life. God has a plan for you to propel your children forward by investing your time, love, and the wisdom of God from the Bible into them! 

A Powerful Family Legacy

Have you noticed that life has a way of swirling all around us sweeping us up into its flow and carrying us along from one urgent task to the next? Have you ever wondered why things happen the way they do? Most importantly, have you ever been filled with regret as you review your responses? Have you ever felt like things were hurtling forward and you were not engaging the way you wanted? Are you confused about your future? Are you concerned about the spiritual future of your children?

            I think all of us have experienced this to some degree. It is important as Christians and especially as parents to determine the priorities in our lives so we can order our lives in a way that glorifies God. So, at this point, most people begin to think of career priorities, possession procurement priorities, wealth building priorities, business priorities, retirement priorities, family time priorities, or a host of other priorities. However, I want to suggest that there is a priority pursuit that surpasses all of that. About 20 years ago, I was doing a Bible study on the life of Peter and of course spent a lot of time reading his 2 letters to the church, 1^st and 2^nd Peter. I discovered a set of priorities that will see us through life.

            In 2Peter chapter1, we are told that God desires to give us a rich welcome into Heaven someday. Entrance into Heaven is based on one’s repentance of sins and the receiving of forgiveness through the sacrificial death and resurrection of God’s only son Jesus. Peter is speaking to the church who have experienced this and he tells them that God wants to give them a rich welcome into Heaven. This implies that there are other types of welcomes into Heaven. What is a rich welcome  like? I’m not sure, but I have seen film footage of the welcome the soldiers returning from WW2 received…a rich welcome! So, maybe it would be similar to that, but only on a “Heavenly scale”. No matter what it would be, it is better than a plain welcome. Don’t get me wrong, any welcome into Heaven is fantastic, but if God wants to offer me a rich welcome, I believe I would like to go for it! What about you? I would also like to help my children receive a rich welcome into Heaven!

            Peter, knowing that some would instantly respond that they could not make it, assures us that God has given us everything we need for life and Godliness through Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and the promises of God’s Word. He then goes on to assure us that God wants us to participate in the Divine nature. After all, when we repent of our sinfulness and place our faith in the work of Jesus we are adopted into God’s family as sons and daughters who are left on the Earth to be a light in the darkness. Discipleship is all about learning to no longer live as children of darkness and learning to live as children of Light(Ephesians 4:17- 5:21).

            Then, Peter lays it out for us. This is how you receive a rich welcome into Heaven. By the way, he is also showing us how we set aside the nature of the flesh and grow in the nature of God.                      He tells us to make every effort to add qualities to our faith. We are to add moral excellence, knowledge of spiritual things, self control, perseverance/patience, Godliness, brotherly kindness, and love. Notice that these are character qualities not deeds of service. Service grows out of these qualities, but service is no substitute for these qualities.

How do we make every effort to add these? I believe the first is make growth in these qualities a part of our daily prayer life asking the Holy Spirit to help us. It is helpful to memorize this passage. Then, I believe we should look for opportunities to express these as we go through our day. I believe God will do great things in and through us as we make this effort!

Most of all, I want to encourage you to make these qualities the cornerstone of conduct in your home. We need to explain these things to our children. We need to role model these before our children. We need to incorporate these values into our discipline and correction of our children. We should cheer and applaud the growth of these qualities as much as we would a good report card or an athletic achievement. After all, isn’t this what really matters?!

Spend some time reading the first chapter of 2^nd Peter(I have only brushed the highlights here). Spend some time asking the Holy Spirit to help you grasp it. Choose to live it. Make your mind up to go for it! Determine to impart this spiritual truth into your children. Make these qualities the hallmark of the culture in your family! This is truly a worthy goal that will bless your family for generations and into eternity! Imagine the impact this could have on the future of your family!

            

Preparing Children for Life

            Some things in life seem so normal that we often don’t take time to acknowledge and appreciate them. For me, it was basic life skills training imparted to me by my parents and grandparents. I was raised in a family business so my family made it a normal part of life to impart as many skills as possible as well as qualities like a strong work ethic, responsibility, and dependability. Every day was filled with the instruction about how to do things as well as how a small business operates and functions. I worked alongside my parents every day observing how things were done and helping. By the time I was a senior in high school, I was well prepared to move into the work force or start a business. This preparation has served me well through my life thus far.

            My wife and I planted a church in Sumter, S.C. in 1994 and served there until 2006. During that time, we established a ministry training program for college -aged young people. It was during this 8 year span that I really began to appreciate the gift my family had given me. I was so amazed to see such a high percentage of young people who had no clue about basic life skills like cooking, washing clothes, house cleaning, cutting the grass, changing light bulbs and A/C filters, changing a flat tire, changing the oil in a car, reading a tape measure, and using basic tools like pliers and screwdrivers. The thing that really amazed me was that these young people came from parents who were very competent. We made it a point to include this training in our program to help them in their life journey.

            This experience, of course, made us wonder how this could happen. We found that many parents felt that they were doing their children a service by not making them work around the home. Somehow, they did not connect the dots to realize that their children would struggle to succeed in life without this crucial instruction from their parents and grandparents. We found that some parents simply were busy making a living and running the household and did not think about the importance of teaching their children these practical skills. Some parents simply did not want to exert the patience required for this kind of instruction. They would say something like, “ It’s just easier to do it myself, rather than trying to get him/her to do it.” Then, there were a few who did not pass on this valuable information to their children because they wanted their children to remain dependent on them. The thought here is that “if they need me, they won’t leave me”.

            The truth is that God intends that parents pass as much knowledge on to their children as possible to make sure that children are firmly rooted in life so they can fulfill God’s plan for their lives. In Deuteronomy, fathers are instructed to pass their knowledge of God and life on to their children. Failure to prepare our children for life creates angry, confused young adults who feel lost in the world.

            I want to encourage you to prayerfully consider how you can begin passing your knowledge and skills on to your children. Household chores are a great start. Another great tool is to volunteer for projects through your local church or a community charity and have your children work alongside you instructing and encouraging them as you go. The investment you make in preparing your children for life will create benefits for your family that will last for generations! 

The great challenge of husbands and fathers

Genesis Chapter 3 contains one of the saddest stories of the all time. Adam and Eve, the first man and woman created by God, were living in a perfect world, in perfect relationship, in a perfect environment, and enjoying face to face friendship with Almighty God. Truly, it was a real paradise. God had given Adam one simple command to obey, “Do not eat the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for on the day you eat of it, you will surely die.” God had appointed Adam as the caretaker of this paradise, even allowing Adam to name all the creatures. This opportunity to name everything demonstrated that God had given Adam delegated authority over creation. This authority also brought responsibility. Over time, God saw that Adam was lonely and needed a mate. God carefully crafted a mate for Adam who was perfect for him. She also bore the image of God, but had many different qualities than Adam. God’s plan was that they would live together in a harmonious relationship allowing their differences to benefit each other and the family.

            Because he was created first and because he had been given the command directly from God concerning the one fruit to never eat and because he had been called to name all living creatures including Eve, Adam was expected to be the leader. This did not make him the boss, but a much better role…a loving leader. His primary responsibility was to lead his wife and children in fellowship and obedience to God. In short, he was to teach them to care for God’s creation and make sure they never ate from the forbidden tree. It seems like a simple task, but as we all know something went terribly wrong.

            One day, Satan engaged Eve in a conversation where he questioned God’s command, God’s warning of death upon disobedience, and God’s very character and motivation for the command. The sad thing is that after she took a bite, we read that she gave some to Adam who was standing right there. He stood by passively as she was swept away by the great deceiver. Of course, paradise was ruined. Sin and death began to wreak havoc on all of humanity and creation. Eventually their son Cain murdered their son Abel. The weakness of Adam became the downfall of men the world over. Things would have been so different if only Adam would have lovingly put his arm around Eve and led her away from the deceiver. If only, he would have stepped up to remind Eve of God’s trustworthiness and faithfulness as he led her away from the tree evil would have been kept at bay. But, he found it easier to take the road of passivity.

            I have found that all men, especially the one I look at in the mirror every morning face this challenge on a daily basis. Our God-given responsibility is to lovingly lead our family into the blessing that comes from obedience to God’s Word. It is, however much easier to be passive. It is demanding to always be on the lookout for the deceiver who might be trying to lead our wives and children into sin that will bring destruction to our families. Unfortunately, we tend to take the ill fated path of Adam.

            The first challenge we face is the challenge to live in obedience to God’s Word and His values ourselves. The next challenge is to recognize how the deceiver might be seeking to gain entrance into our family. This requires paying attention to our wives and children. Do you know what is being taught at school? Do you know who your children are friends with? Do you know the video games your children watch? Have you read the words of their favorite songs? Have you asked them about their relationship with God? Being a watchman for our families requires being engaged with them in a real way. As men, we tend to assume all is well as we distract ourselves with other things. It is important to become engaged with our family. We need to explain God’s ways about how we should conduct ourselves in this world to our children. We need to especially explain God’s plan for marriage, sexuality, friendships, life purpose, and every other aspect of life to our children. We need to recognize when our family members are drifting dangerously close to trouble and lovingly lead them away to safety and carefully explain the benefit of obeying God’s will to them. We need to teach them how to handle anger without sin. We need to teach them how to express honor and respect toward others. We need to lead them in never participating in gossip or bullying. We need to instill in our children a solid work ethic. We need to teach them about the nature, character, and faithfulness of God from His word and also by sharing our experience with God to them. We need to teach them to pray and trust God.

            It is crucial that men lovingly lead their wives and children in the things of God to keep the ravaging effects of sin away. How many family heartbreaks would have been prevented if only the men had taken a stand and lovingly led their family away from sin? How many divorces could have been avoided? How many children could have been steered away from violence, drugs, alcohol abuse, sexual looseness, emotional bullying, the effects of out of control friends, suicide, and a host of other destructive behaviors? Of course, the past can’t be changed. Every man has felt the sting of pain in his family and suspected that his passivity may have opened the door for this lion to come roaring in. I am challenging men everywhere to join me in the quest to cast off passivity and lovingly lead our families into the safety of obedience to God! Start today! Ask God to help you and guide you. Begin to engage your children in meaningful conversation. Work together with your wife to lead your family into the fullness of life that Jesus promised! Cast off passivity!

All About Real Life Church...Check it out!

God began to speak to my wife and I about moving to New Orleans roughly 5 years ago. The mission was clear. We are to plant a church and to engage in family ministry that will encourage and strengthen healthy families and bring healing and restoration to hurting families.
The journey has been long and filled with varying challenges. But, by God's great hand we are here and we are moving forward in the process of getting this work off the ground! The praise truly belongs to God! I will be sharing tidbits of the journey in the weeks to come as we move forward!
So, this blog post is devoted mostly to providing information about this new church, Real Life Church, which will be located on the West Bank of New Orleans. I want to provide a clear description of what we are all about for any who have an interest in being involved either by attending and serving or by making prayer or financial contributions.

Real Life Church

Our Mission...

ENCOURAGE

Development of a life changing friendship with Jesus Christ

Joyful living through Biblical principles

Discovery of God’s unique life mission for everyone

A lifestyle of gratitude, faith, and worship

A legacy of healthy families

Development of meaningful, uplifting friendships

Selfless living through serving

Our Vision…

We dream of touching thousands of people with the Good News Of Jesus

We dream of seeing the hurting find healing in Christ

We dream of seeing the whole encouraged and challenged to help others

We dream of seeing the life changing principles of the Bible bring joy to life

We dream of equipping many for service according to God’s plan for them

We dream of seeing broken lives healed and restored

We dream of seeing hurting families healed and restored

We dream of experiencing the amazing activity of the Holy Spirit

We dream of exalting Jesus Christ in the West Bank and beyond

Our Core Values

Put Jesus’ agenda first

Honor God’s Word

Practice Prayer

Honor and respect others

Walk in real love

Overwhelm with hospitality, friendliness, and thoughtfulness

Honor and preserve unity

Work hard at the right things

Laugh together often

Encourage strength and stability in families

Grow as we walk in the Spirit

Our Declaration

We will have a heart of passion and devotion to Jesus Christ. We will commit to grow in His values as we learn His word and fellowship with His Spirit. We will have a generous heart of compassion for the hurting. We will use all effective methods to share the good news of Jesus Christ with as many as possible. We will stand together to encourage strong marriages and healthy families. We will allow the Holy Spirit to lead us in service according to our gifts and calling. We will cooperate with the Holy Spirit as He leads us. We will offer God our best! We will pursue excellence in all we do!  We will esteem love, honor, faith, and obedience!