A better angle!

We are probably aware of the importance of having the right angle of sight  when making decisions about events. Many a first down, touch down, "safe" base call and home run have been impacted by the right angle of sight of the referee or umpire...or camera. It's amazing how the angle from which we view something can completely change our understanding of the event. It is important to find the right angle.    The same is true in all areas of our lives...especially marriage. If we see our mate from an angle of hurt, disappointment, anger, self - centeredness, or defensiveness, then we will be looking for the negative we expect to find. Guess what we will find...more disappointment that reinforces our negative theory. This is a cycle that has cost many a person their marriage. It becomes like the proverbial snow ball rolling down the mountain.
What we perceive is negative and hurtful and we don't have the benefit of the instant replay so we chalk up another "you're OUT" when maybe it was just our mate being different from us in their approach to life. Most of the time, hurts in marriage are not intentional. They are part of the need to engage the process of learning to live together in an understanding way.
Unfortunately, we can become so entrenched in our need to be "right" about our mate's flaws and so entitled to an apology and a promise to change that we lose sight of what's important...our mate. This can quickly become a tug of war that creates isolation, hurt, distance, pain, and loneliness in the relationship.
Many times we spend years thinking that our marriage would be fulfilling if only our mate would change into a better person, but maybe what we need to do is get a better angle to view our mate from...after all the only person I can change is ME.
He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it. Proverbs 11:27 NIV
I believe that we find what we look for. If we look for something disappointing, we find it. If we look for something to be thankful for, we find it. (also see Philippians 4:8). Don't you want your mate to expect good things from you? Don't you want your mate to believe that you would never intentionally do anything to hurt or disappoint them? Give your mate the same. Stop the negative cycle this week. Get a better angle of sight to your mate!