One of the most difficult things to do in a relationship is to refuse to keep a list of negatives abut your mate. It is funny how we will forget 100 positives and cling to one negative, sometimes for years. I suppose that this is because the negatives are usually associated with a hurt or disappointment. We seem to have this idea that if we keep a list of every way our mate has ever let us down and keep rehearsing it and keeping a vigilant watch then we can protect ourselves from being hurt again. However, if we engage in this practice, it will destroy our relationship.
If we truly want to have a healthy, fulfilling relationship we must choose to let negative things go.
It is quite simple. Do you want your mate keeping a list of your mistakes and constantly holding that list ready to "protect" themselves?
The key to love is the ability to accept our mate with all their imperfections and choose to forgive the hurts, overlook the faults, and focus on the positives.
If we truly want to have a healthy, fulfilling relationship we must choose to let negative things go.
It is quite simple. Do you want your mate keeping a list of your mistakes and constantly holding that list ready to "protect" themselves?
The key to love is the ability to accept our mate with all their imperfections and choose to forgive the hurts, overlook the faults, and focus on the positives.
- Letting it go means that once we have discussed it and resolved the hurt or disappointment we choose to stop spending time thinking about that and return to positive, loving thoughts about our mate.
- Letting it go means that we choose to stop expecting our mate to let us down again. We choose to expect to see and receive positives from our mate. We choose to remember that our mate is a wonderful person who is normal in that he/she makes mistakes like us.
- Letting it go means that we don't bring it up every time we get angry at our mate.
- Letting it go means that we don't share negative things about our mate with others.
- Letting it go means that we open our hearts up to our mate again.
- Letting it go means that we do not punish our mate.
- Letting it go is choosing love over fear.
- Letting it go is a deliberate choice.
- Letting it go can be tough...but rewarding.
- Letting it go is what God does in His love for us. Will we reflect that to our mate?
Please understand that if you are married to a person who has a history of chronic adultery or violent abuse then you should forgive but not continue to put yourself at risk. You should discuss that with your pastor or a Christian counselor.
Real Love keeps no record of wrongs!
For more ideas to help boost your marriage, order our book, I Still Do.
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