During World War II, the military coined the phrase, "Loose lips sink ships" to remind military personnel and civilians that talking about troop movements could result in a spy hearing and reporting the information to the enemy which could result in the destruction of U.S. ships and soldiers. In fact, they built a whole campaign around this slogan complete with posters and ads.
In marriage the same principle is true. Marriage is a relationship that carries the highest level of trust and vulnerability. In marriage, each person has a front row seat to every aspect of the person to whom they are married. Your mate knows you like none other. In other words, they know all the things you want to hide when trying to put your best foot forward. You trust your mate to be careful with this knowledge as you realize you need to be careful with this same knowledge about your mate.
Normally, this is not a big deal. However every marriage has periods of conflict, disappointment, frustration, irritation, and the like. It is in these times that people are tempted to share their side of the issue with family members or friends. This practice seems to be growing with the advent of social media which is encouraging people to be more open about everything.
The problem is that while most couples will tend to work through the problem, forgive each other, and make up heading once again toward "happily ever after," the people who know about the problem will be left with a bad opinion of your mate. They will have a very difficult time looking past the hurt shared with them.
Every couple is influenced to some degree by those close to them. If that group has their opinion of your mate polluted by the sharing of a stream of negativity, then naturally they will begin to encourage you to end the marriage or retaliate against your mate. Every time you go back to them with a complaint against your mate they will remind you of the entire list and build a case against your mate. If you refuse to follow their urging, you will eventually find yourself in a strained relationship with them. For these reasons, people outside the marriage should never be given intimate information about the struggles inside the marriage. It is bad for everyone. Here are some tips to help decide what is inappropriate to share:
In marriage the same principle is true. Marriage is a relationship that carries the highest level of trust and vulnerability. In marriage, each person has a front row seat to every aspect of the person to whom they are married. Your mate knows you like none other. In other words, they know all the things you want to hide when trying to put your best foot forward. You trust your mate to be careful with this knowledge as you realize you need to be careful with this same knowledge about your mate.
Normally, this is not a big deal. However every marriage has periods of conflict, disappointment, frustration, irritation, and the like. It is in these times that people are tempted to share their side of the issue with family members or friends. This practice seems to be growing with the advent of social media which is encouraging people to be more open about everything.
The problem is that while most couples will tend to work through the problem, forgive each other, and make up heading once again toward "happily ever after," the people who know about the problem will be left with a bad opinion of your mate. They will have a very difficult time looking past the hurt shared with them.
Every couple is influenced to some degree by those close to them. If that group has their opinion of your mate polluted by the sharing of a stream of negativity, then naturally they will begin to encourage you to end the marriage or retaliate against your mate. Every time you go back to them with a complaint against your mate they will remind you of the entire list and build a case against your mate. If you refuse to follow their urging, you will eventually find yourself in a strained relationship with them. For these reasons, people outside the marriage should never be given intimate information about the struggles inside the marriage. It is bad for everyone. Here are some tips to help decide what is inappropriate to share:
- Never spread embarrassing facts about your mate.
- Never spread the details of an argument.
- Never spread anything that would make the hearer think less of your mate.
- Everyone has faults and weaknesses that the world has not seen, never spread those.
- Never say anything that you would not want told about you.
- Never vent anger at your mate to another person...talk it through to God and then go back to your mate.
- Never make cutting or demeaning remarks about your mate to others.
- Never, Ever post any aspect of an argument on Facebook, Twitter, or any other social media.
- If your mate is engaged in an addiction, violence, adultery, abusing your children, or illegal activity, speak to your pastor or a Christian counselor to receive support and guidance.
Loose lips sink ships and....
Real Love always protects!
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