Many people become disappointed in marriage because they are unprepared for the realities that married life bring. This disappointment leads to a lot of time spent thinking and talking about how unhappy they are in the marriage. Too often, this leads to a decision to abandon the marriage to seek happiness...which is seldom found under such circumstances.
Life, like the ocean, has tides. These tides are marked by change and the need to adjust to the change like a sailor adjusts to the rise and fall of the ocean. Married life is filled with change. There is the change brought on by establishing homes, changing jobs, moving to a new community, pregnancy, raising children, aging of parents, anticipation of an empty nest, an actual empty nest, the marriage of children, the arrival of grandchildren, our own aging,and a myriad of other changes. All of this is further complicated by the ever changing landscape of the world's economy and unrest. Our lives are filled with seasons when we are riding high and seasons when we wonder if we will be crashed onto the rocks.
Our problem is that we expect to always be riding high. It is normal to want this, but it simply won't happen. The key is to stick together through the low tides so we can enjoy the high tides together.
Here are a few helpful ideas to help you through the low tides:
- Spend time enjoying the memories of the high tides together. Reminisce together.
- Encourage each other to expect God to send more high tides.
- Refuse to waste your energy looking for someone to blame for the low tide.
- If you can do something to help change the situation...do it.
- Make an effort to be a blessing to your mate. Show them that you are the best person for them to ride the tides with.
- Refuse to look for happiness outside the marriage. There are tides there also.
- Put some effort into lifting up your mate. After all, you are in this together. Do all you can to pour love on your mate during this difficult time.
- Pray together asking God to change the situation.
- Don't forget to give your mate lots of affection and encouraging words. He/she needs it more than ever now.
- Focus on helping your mate rather than yourself.
- Remember, this is just life and stuff. What really matters is love, faith, and family.
Love never fails!
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